Friday, April 27, 2007

The President of the United States, George W. Bush


Y'know, I don't like it when Democrats start politicizing issues that shouldn't be politicized. So when Mayor Michael Bloomberg, who isn't a Democrat, came to me with an issue that wasn't political, I decided it was time I was the Agreer-in-Chief. I'm already the Decider-in-Chief, which Mayor Bloomberg isn't. But as Agreer-in-Chief, I agreed that it was time to agree. And so, after I talk it over with my boss, and you know who I'm talking about, if He agrees, then I will, as Agreer-in-Chief, be willing to release this fellow, the one who wrote that book about the Knucklething from you know where - my religious beliefs don't allow me to say from where - that fellow is Michael Wayne, my people tell me. Well, if the boss tells me so, then I, George W. Bush, will, as Agreer-in-Chief, let him go.

Monday, April 23, 2007

A Message From New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg



A grave injustice has been done. Michael Wayne, the author of "The Knuckleball From Hell," a book that finally gives all Mets fans something to be proud of and something to laugh about, and in the process unites all Mets fans, should not be taken away to Guantanamo by the Department of Homeland Security. Just because he poked a little fun at the Department is no reason for them to get all bent out of shape about it. Please write your congressman or senator about this. I will do all in my power to fix this. Michael Wayne is a great American, and a Mets fan to boot.

Go Mets!

HIzzoner Michael Bloomberg

Friday, April 20, 2007

From the Department of Homeland Security:



This post is from Special Agents Tom Bishop and Bob Temple of the Department of Homeland Security. We have seized the blog of one Michael Wayne, who we have had under surveillance for some time now, because of his disparaging remarks he has made about us, our chicken wing eating habits, and our Department. Mr. Wayne is currently waiting to be shipped to Guantanamo. We ask that for the sake of this country, and for the sake of the future of mankind, you do not read his book. It is subversive and undermines everything this country stands for. You can go now, although do not go to www.knuckleballfromhell.com

Tuesday, April 17, 2007

Coming June 15!


Ok, Mets fans, sports fans, baseball fans, and fans of offbeat, irreverent humor: are you ready for The Knuckleball From Hell? It's only the funniest book of the year! It's coming June 15. Be forewarned...cause ready or not...and if you aren't ready, them chicken-wing eating Department of Homeland Security Special Agents will get you!

www.knuckleballfromhell.com